My fifth clamcard! Only there's no clams on it. Just a clammy guy on a 'Bad Trip' card. This one is called 'Hypochondria' and proves, yes, you can have too many medical books on hand. A subscription to the AMA's medical journals would be a bad move for this chap, don't you think?

( Cause it's kinda big )


Last night the spoil_me_dh community--or someone in it--challenged folks to draw their favorite scene in Deathly Hallows but with the stipulation that it had to be done with MS paint, so I did this:








BIG SPOILERZ AHOY







If you doesn't want spoilers STOP NOW




OK I warned you . . .













*from the 'rebounded curse' scene between Voldy and Harry.
**the green thingy is Voldy and the blue thingie is Harry.


I couldn't bring myself to put this gem under a cut because I want you all slavering to see MORE of my talent when you hover your mouse over the ljcut link. By God, this is good advertising. Besides, it's the end of all my 'spoiler' precautions, this being the end of the month. Please be kind. I labored, sweating and weeping, over this masterpiece for hours on end all while pitying those fools who are stuck with anything like MS paint to do anything remotely sophisticated, like work in layers. Hours! It only LOOKS like I toked before I drew. It merely APPEARS as if the whole thing took 5 minutes, max.

That's the sign of a true master, peeps. Making the effortless seem like fingernail-tearing hard labor. Not the other way around.




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Tags: art, bad trip

Rudolph don't have the Christmas balls to get near this pair of Misfits. It's not that they're particularly vile, it's just that these guys have been around the tree a few times and are likely to resent the competition in Santa's coveted toy sack. More timid toys have an uncanny habit of 'disappearing' around these two. Funny how that works. Cathulhu the Plush Unholy One and George Too-Long have been waiting in their playroom for years now and, much like teenage orphans, have become somewhat bitter and reclusive. So far as they're concerned, potential adopters can stuff their good intentions down Georges very long pipe. It doesn't help that their old pals, the Siamese Clowns, keep sending them pictures of themselves, happy and carefree.

( Meet Cathulhu and George! )

This pic is for one of the cards in jacob_day's Bad Trip game. Number four, titled 'Misfit Toys' 'Munchies' and 'Hypochondria' are next!

Tags: art, bad trip

Today I called Earthlink, the dialup service I've used since '03, to tell them we're not as brand loyal as they thought we were--that we switched to Comcast Broadband. I told the polite outsourced employee to cancell. Well it never ends there, does it? I cancelled and this poor thing told me how sad she was over this unfortunate decision, which made me feel I'd phoned to inform the company that I may or may not have scripted a virus to cause all its customer's computers to fry anything in the hard drives beginning with the letter 's'. She bemoaned my future as being very bleak now that I had changed services, forcasting my eventual return due to crushing remorse. Then came the obligatory questions. 'Why did you switch? Why are you cancelling? Did you know we offer broadband services? Why not stay with us and we'll offer you 29.95 per month for the next three months?' Cause they love me, of course! And my money.

I answered said questions because I know they've all got a dictatorial Pakistani boss-man over yonder telling them they must coax errant sheep back into the flock. But based on the conversation that followed, this particular fascist must have had a gun to the poor girl's head the whole time telling her, no matter what happens, you do NOT let them go astray! No matter what! So be it, I'll scalp you and set burning candles in your ears, chop off your head and send it down the Ganges after you're force-marched through India in spiked shoes. The conversation went thusly:

F.V. (Fascist Victim): We will cancel your dialup service for you now, but we can let you access your email by the month for 3.95 so you don't lose your contacts.

Me: I just need a few days for that--

F.V. Just a monthly charge. You don't want to miss mail someone might send you, do you?

Me: No, but I don't have very many contacts--

F.V. Just a monthly charge, ma'am. 3.95 and you can access Earthlink's mail--your email account--from your new Comcast service. It's very easy.

Me; I don't have hundreds of names in my contact folder--just a couple dozen. I won't take more than a few days to copy them to gmail--I don't need--

F.V. Only 3.95 each month and you can access your email any time.

Me: I don't need to access my email month after mon--

F.V. And you can cancel any time!

Me: Well I'm canceling now--I don't want the online service or the email extended--

F.V. OK, so I cancel Earthlink account. You'll still have service until the 22nd, when your billing period ends.

Me: (under the delusion that I've gotten somewhere) OK, good.

F.V. Ok, so now you just pay 3.95 for continued access to your email account, which you can get to when you log into the Comcast--

At this point the entire conversation went back to the beginning and repeat itself an insane number of times and I STILL never, ever got through to her that I didn't WANT the goddamn extension! Even when I carefully explained how everyone I knew would have my new addy within the week and everyone else was either spammers or people I didn't like anyhow. Nothing I said, in any combination, got through. I lost this one. I'm going to end up calling again and I'll ask for someone sane this time. Good Christ!


And now . . .

Talking Chocolate Bunnies!!!!!!!!


( If you're on LSD, this is what you see on Easter morn )

Tags: art, bad trip

Who can find the new elephant without looking at the last version of Pink Elephants? No cheating now! I got this cleaned up and ready to rock. After juggling the various pachyderms here and there, I came up with an arrangement I liked, spiffed up the lines and fixed the boo-boos.

( Pink Elephants on Parade in Space! )


EDIT: Just for you special peeps, I have included the lyrics to the orignal 'Pink Elephants on Parade' from Dumbo, just so's you can sing alone to the provided U-Tube clip! Enjoy!

Look out! Look out!
Pink elephants on parade
Here they come!
Hippety hoppety
They're here and there
Pink elephants ev'rywhere
Look out! Look out!
They're walking around the bed
On their head
Clippety cloppety
Arrayed in braid
Pink elephants on parade
What'll I do? What'll I do?
What an unusual view!
I could stand the sight of worms
And look at microscopic germs
But technicolor pachyderms
Is really much for me
I am not the type to faint
When things are odd or things
are quaint
But seeing things you know that ain't
Can certainly give you an awful fright!
What a sight!
Chase 'em away!
Chase 'em away!
I'm afraid need your aid
Pink elephants on parade!
Pink elephants!
Pink elephants!

Tags: art, bad trip

Here's the first of the game cards I'm helping design (along with several other artists) for waywardclam who is, as we speak, working on a brillant game called 'Bad Trip.' Doesn't that sound like fun? It's already got a wide variety of artwork thanks to the efforts of everyone and now here's my crackilicious contribution to 'Pink Elephants', one of the Hallucination cards.

( Pink Elephants in Space! Warning! Dumbo really CAN fly this high! woohoo! )


This card is undergoing refinement, but this gives you the basic idea. I might add more elephants in the foreground if clammy approves.

Tags: art, bad trip