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Ann (Maridius)
User: [info]barlidoc
Name: Ann (Maridius)
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My latest Drawmo thingie! I copied him from a drawing I found on another blog because I couldn't not do something with that wicked grin. He's been a good lesson in handling both color and contrast--and hasn't done my libido much harm either. Maybe the next Luce I do will actually have depth now!

I feel: busy

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Is it November?

Wow I just now noticed.

But judging by the ads we skipped it and went right to December because in the eyes of the retailer Thanksgiving is an unsightly wart upon the saintly skin of Christmas merchandising. It's ugly and has no monetary purpose unless you're a turkey farmer and/or Sarah Palin. But I tend to have a lot of love for Halloween anyhow and that's mainly because there are few social pitfalls to fall into. And even those don't have spikes at the bottom. How do you mess up a day when you can call a house that's been uncleaned since Obama took office 'zombie headquarters'? Hell, Good Housekeeping might even do a spread and feature your mold smeared dishes as a front page attraction with instructions to other housewives on how they too can achieve the same look for just pennies. Got cobwebs? Don't knock 'em down! They add atmosphere! Did you get in a fight? Great! The blood's a nice touch on the floor. More atmosphere! Put the knocked out teeth in a jar for maximum Halloween brownie points. And even if you're a Halloween Scrooge and pretend you're not home while the kiddies pile up on your front porch plotting revenge, the worse that can happen is some eggs and toilet paper. No one will disown you.

But now we rush headlong into That Time.

This means I have to clean the house. Mop up the blood and banish the spiders. My black cat is once again just a black cat and not a harbinger of fur covered doom. I have to bone up on the perils or regifting and the higher math necessary to calculate the price and type of gift to give based on what they gave me last year, my budget, their budget, the phase of the moon on Dec 25, their decor, tastes and habits and whether or not they ignored my birthday this past August. Then they must do the same for me. Somewhere someone needs to create an algorhythm for this mess. On Halloween you toss candy at kids and jump out from behind bushes in Grim Reaper masks. On Christmas I crack open Advanced Physics for Giftgivers and hope I don't wind up disowned by someone who gives expensive presents.

Thanksgiving's okay. You eat, fall asleep and go home. Sometimes you end up the host and have to do the housecleaning thing, but overall it's not bad. I have these fancy wineglasses that I got at Arby's during a holiday giveaway several years ago and I swear you can't tell. It's my little secret. No there aren't pictures of the Arby's Oven Mitt etched on them. These predate the Oven Mitt anyhow.

*note*

Do not link me to porn of the Arby's Oven Mitt and the Hamburger Helper Glove. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Thank you.


Well that's about all. That and Nano and Drawmo. I'm behind on the Drawmo and doing good on Nano. About 35k.

I feel: sleepy

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I know. Wow, huh? Yes the community I swept under the rug last year is actually running this year and we got ARTZ posted and everything! It's fun! I vowed to keep Drawmo alive all month and I'm busy keeping that promise so if you signed on last year, jump right in this year and go for it. You know the nice thing that the community is so small right now everyone will get a chance to show off their draws and snippets because I'm extremely blase about the ol' LJ cut. Me and the cut never saw eye to eye anyhow and as mod, I pretty much moon the whole concept. In other words your art doesn't hide! So if the 50k Nano isn't much of a challenge, add this drawing challenge to it! 50 drawings in 30 days!

Boy I don't know about you but my loins just girded big time. I got to shut up now and draw. And write.


DRAWMO!

I feel: artistic

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Awesome response to last night's Lucius art post! Thanks everyone for looking and commenting! You not only gave me a boost but Lucius too, who is flattered that so many people are willing to admire him even when he's metaphorically shitting bricks. He has asked me to feature him nude some time in the future as he likes how my last practice work with the pelvic area has gone and figures I'd want to showcase it.

Totally switching gears here, I have to do a couple weird things this week. You've probably all been to fundraisers at least one time in your life, right? You got your fancy-schmanzy $2,000 per plate charity drives in exclusive locations featuring star power and money flowing like a river and then you got your basic church bazaar type fundraiser for a new roof or to send missionaries to Timbuktu or whatever. Our church has them too. Only, being Scientologists, we have to be freaks about it and have themes. This weekend's theme is Star Wars. Last time was Cowboy/Western. Another time it was pirates and then Braveheart, with kilts and the whole nine yards.

Yes I said Star Wars.

In other words, a mini Star Wars convention. When I went downstairs after work tonight, an entire Luke Skywalker costume was hanging by a window and someone got little kiddie Jedi costumes for people's squirts. Awwww. And light sabers. Someone's found one of those retractable ones and everyone with an iPhone is downloading the famous light sabre app and duking it out on breaks. So I'll be throwing together something too. But what? Darth Vader, Luke, Obi Wan, Han Solo, Princess Leia are taken and maybe Chewbacca too. Beth saw the way I fit into my jeans and suggested Jabba the Hutt.

. . . .


Yeah, she's grounded. For life. ;)

The cheap way to go would be to just dress Jedi fashion or as one of those creepy red-eyed things that kidnapped the robots in the original movie. All you need for those is a monk-type robe with a hood. Easy. More expensive is Beth's other idea of all three of us going as Stormtroopers. Uh yeah. You pay for it kid! And I'm fat. Who ever heard of a fat Stormtrooper? That'd just look bad. And no I'm not tall enough for Chewbacca--people would just go 'Oh an Ewok!' if I came in shedding brown fur. But I do have a black 'death' robe from a few years ago and I could do the Darth Maul thing if I find a mask. What do you think? Do you know if they sell the double sided light sabre he used?

Yeah he'd be a fat Darth Maul. Shit, I have to pick something here and NO Jabba the Hutt! Just . . . no. Not unless I can talk Richard into dressing in drag as slut!Princess Leia.

I feel: geeky

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Part of gearing up for Nano inevitably involves making Nano art and co-currently involves making fun of Lucius at the same time. What appears to be a bloodthirsty ghoul at thumbnail distance proves to be only Lucius under the throes of the worst case of mental constipation known to both Wizardkind and Mugglekind combined. Either that or he simply can't remember where the 'g' is on the keyboard. At any rate, he's doing Chris Baty proud, if Baty decided to water down Nano enough for the likes of two-fingered typing wizards like Luce here.

See you on the flip side, Lucius! Don't, er, strain yourself now. Christ.




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I feel: I do NOT look like that!

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Note to self: While celebrating a weekend of 'alone cuddle sexy time' is perfectly warranted while daughter is away, please verify that living room blinds are closed and door is shut before chasing naked hubby through house screaming 'I'm gonna get your ass and ride it to the moon!'

I feel: ass-tronomically embarr-assed

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The fanartist in me had an epic shitfit yesterday over the fact that I haven't posted Lucius artz in eons. According to the timeline of the films, our favorite villain is in Azkaban subsisting on half-rancid gruel, tepid water and absolutely no hair care products. I understand Narcissa later became active in prison reform just to change this wrong, since she was the one who had to detangle Luce when he came home again. Poor Cissy.

But the artz!


Back here cause it'll make you scroll and then you'll get pissed off in comments, prompting me to respond 'get bent!' which will, in turn, start a flame war so profound it'll cripple LJ's servers for a month, thus getting me banned. I can't take the risk. Sorry. )

I feel: going to the beach!

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I have lived! The All Snot Fashion Show is officially shut down except for a few determined stragglers who haven't been knocked out by doses of Nyquil and a vigorous nose blowing technique. This means I don't have to use the miserable mood Lucius! Yay!

Bad news is, very few people will ever see this glad announcement, let alone comment to tell me how they spent the whole weekend sacrificing goats to speed my healing--the mark of true friendship indeed. No. I hear crickets here in LJ land, folks. People are following the latest Golden Calf and that idol is called Facebook and Twitter and like Moses, I stand pissed off on Mt. Sinai with the tablets in hand while the jerks I brought over across the Red Sea (and parted it for them and everything, ingrates) turn their backs and gawp at the first shiny thing to come along. I'm overlooking the Tablet right now, searching for loopholes that'll let me smite your asses into next week for deserting me and not lavishing gushing sympathy on me while I lay dying, instead of enjoying hot, moist nookies with my beloved hubby.

It's. Not. Fair!

*rant*

If you all don't come back, I'll create a special filter EXCLUDING Facebook and Twitter junkies and only they will ever see my Lucius artz ever again!

Hm.

Is it just me, or did the crickets just get louder?

OK! OK! I didn't mean it! Come back! Come baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

*/rant*

I feel: you made Lucius cry!

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It seems my body has tired of wearing its usual temperature and has decided to see what other ones might be like, which I wouldn't mind if it could manage it without also cramming my sinuses full of spare whatever. Perhaps it thinks the sinus cavities are a dressing room? You know, so my body can do its temperature fashion show and have a handy place to dump excess gowns and spangles. That may be why I keep sneezing sequins.

I feel: snotty but stylish

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Out of perverse curiosity, I entered 'Japan' as my ending destination on Google Maps and hit 'Get Directions' This is what came up. Google Maps suddenly regressed to the past and assumed modern man has not yet achieved the age of sail, let alone flight. Instead of being advised to drive to Sea Tac airport and board the next flying cattle car, I'm apparently supposed to head to Gas Works Park on Lake Union, then paddle across the Pacific, with a rest stop in Hawaii to stretch my arms. I copied this exactly as it says.

For your amusement!







Turn left to merge onto I-5 N toward Seattle
21.0 mi
6. Take exit 168B to merge onto WA-520 E toward Kirkland/Bellevue
0.8 mi
7. Take the Montlake Blvd exit
0.2 mi
8. Turn left at E Montlake Pl E/WA-513
0.4 mi
9. Turn left at NE Pacific St
0.7 mi
10. Continue on NE Northlake Way
0.2 mi
11. Turn left to stay on NE Northlake Way
1.0 mi
12. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean
Entering Hawaii

2,756 mi

13. Slight right at Turtle Bay Hilton
0.1 mi
14. Turn left at Kuilima Dr
0.5 mi
15. Turn right at HI-83/Kamehameha Hwy
10.5 mi
16. Continue on Joseph P Leong Hwy
1.9 mi
17. Slight right at HI-99/Kamehameha Hwy
Continue to follow Kamehameha Hwy

8.6 mi
18. Merge onto I-H2 S via the ramp to Honolulu
8.2 mi
19. Merge onto I-H1 E
4.5 mi
20. Take exit 13B to merge onto HI-78 E/I-H201 E
4.7 mi
21. Merge onto I-H1 E
3.8 mi
22. Take exit 23 for Punahou St
0.2 mi
23. Turn right at Punahou St
0.1 mi
24. Turn right at S Beretania St
0.1 mi
25. Turn left at Kalakaua Ave
1.9 mi
26. Kayak across the Pacific Ocean
Entering Japan

3,879 mi

27. Turn right toward 県道263号線
0.3 mi
28. Turn left toward 県道263号線
0.2 mi
29. Turn right at 県道263号線
0.3 mi
30. Slight left to stay on 県道263号線
200 ft
31. Turn left to stay on 県道263号線
0.3 mi
32. Turn right at 国道125号線
0.4 mi
33. Turn left at 亀城公園北(交差点) onto 国道354号線
0.4 mi
34. Slight left at 千束町(交差点) to stay on 国道354号線
2.0 mi
35. Turn right at 中村陸橋下(交差点) to stay on 国道354号線
1.0 mi
36. Take the ramp to 常磐自動車道
Toll road

0.3 mi
37. Keep left at the fork, follow signs for 東京 and merge onto 常磐自動車道
Toll road

23.8 mi
38. Take exit 三郷JCT toward 三郷出口・外環・松戸・大泉
Toll road

0.3 mi
39. Keep right at the fork, follow signs for 三郷西出口・外環・大泉
Toll road

0.2 mi
40. Take exit 高速三郷IC on the right toward 外環・大泉
Toll road

0.7 mi
41. Merge onto 東京外環自動車道
Toll road

17.3 mi
42. Take exit 高速大泉IC toward 関越道・新潟
Toll road

0.9 mi
43. Merge onto 関越自動車道
Toll road

47.7 mi
44. Take exit 藤岡JCT toward 上信越道・藤岡・長野
Toll road

0.7 mi
45. Merge onto 上信越自動車道
Toll road

54.3 mi
46. Take exit 高速東部湯の丸IC toward 県道81号線
Toll road

384 ft
47. Take exit 東部湯の丸SA on the right toward 東部湯の丸出口
Toll road

0.6 mi
48. Merge onto 県道81号線
1.0 mi
49. Turn right at 常田(交差点) onto 国道18号線
2.4 mi
50. Turn left at 県道483号線
0.2 mi
51. Turn right to stay on 県道483号線
0.2 mi
52. Turn left at 大屋駅前(交差点) onto 国道152号線
2.5 mi
53. Turn right at 下丸子(交差点) to stay on 国道152号線
446 ft
54. Turn left to stay on 国道152号線
7.2 mi
55. Slight right at 中山道/国道142号線
0.7 mi
56. Slight left at 大和橋(交差点) onto 国道152号線/大門街道
1.7 mi
57. Slight left
0.1 mi
58. Turn left
0.5 mi






And when I arrive in the Land of the Rising Sun I'll turn to the first person I meet and say, 'I kayaked all the way from Seattle and BOY are my arms tired!' I'm sure I'll get lots of laughs, if I even make it out of the San Juans in Washington. That inlet'll chew you up on a bad day and me and my kayak would be nothing but splinters before we even hit the Pacific. Someone Google Greenland and see if any mention of sled dogs crops up!

I feel: amused